Who doesn't love potato chips? By themselves or as an accompaniment to a sandwich, those golden flakes of starch are a mainstay of the working man's diet. Some folks (including myself) like to put them in a sandwich for an added crunch, and everyone loves to dunk them in some sort of cheese or ranch-based dip. Although they result in greasy fingers and crumbs in your lap, Americans can't seem to get enough of those little slivers of fried awesome. We eat, on average, 4 pounds of chips a year and Americans ate a whopping 1.5 billion pounds of potato chips in 2011!
Way back in 1956 Procter and Gamble decided to try and redesign the potato chip to address complaints of customers about stale, greasy chips that were broken and packaged in bags that were perceived to be "mostly air". They assigned a chemist, Frederic J. Baur to figure out how to address these issues and he spent nearly two years developing a recipe of wheat and potato dough that would be fried and result in the now-familiar "Hyperbolic Paraboloid" shape of the Pringle which, by the way, resulted in an airfoiled chip that was easy to load into a tubular container that would address the problem of broken chips and dissatisfaction of a "point of purchase" container that was perceived to be mostly air. Baur was successful in creating two of the three design parameters but the problem that stuck him was that they just didn't taste good! He was pulled off the development project and reassigned to other projects and the "Pringles" development was shelved.
Sometime in 1965 another P&G researcher decided to revive the work of Baur and make a second attempt at the newfangled potato chip. Alexander Leipa of Montgomery, Ohio was successful in improving the taste and by the late 1960s the "Pringle's Newfangled Potato Chips" were being marketed in limited areas; and in 1975 they were available nationwide. With the popularity of the curious curved chip growing in the USA, they were introduced to the global market in 1991 which resulted in a lengthy legal battle in the UK, a place where potatoes are not just a staple but a way of life. Apparently, the Limeys took issue with them as they are only 42% potato, and the shape is one "not found in nature". Americans also rejected the notion of them being true "potato chips" and a ruling from the United States Food and Drug Administration stated that they could not be called "Potato Chips" but rather they were to be called "potato chips made from dried potatoes". This didn't work so well and they were relabeled as "potato crisps" to avoid hanging a long descriptor upon them.
Don't get me wrong.....I enjoy Pringles but they go against the ethos of our great country. Sure, they are tasty and you don't end up with greasy fingers or a lap filled with crumbs but who wants a can full of Communists with each one looking like the previous one out of the can? Our country is one of diversity of culture, and half the joy of potato chips is delighting in the variety of shapes. There is even greater joy in discovering "folded" chips that will not snap apart when dredged through a delightful onion dip. To borrow a phrase from the "Newspeak" dictionary of George Orwell's warning tome to western society "1984", it is "Double Plusgood" to find a doubled-over chip comprised of two chips stuck together. Another thing I dislike about Pringles is that, like Communism, the individual most be broken down to it's core constituents and reassembled into something new. My wife Renee is responsible for opening my eyes to the great American joy of a big old bag of Lay's chips and the miracles contained therein. She also taught me the sly way of keeping your fingers from getting greasy.....never wipe your fingers on your shirt but wipe them instead on your socks!
I think that today I shall enjoy a bag of Lay's while watching college football conference championship games......why? There is only one response, because 'murica! We don't want Communism nor Socialism here because that isn't how we were founded. We were founded on the principles of individualism and the pursuit of happiness. Help me fight the spread of Communism and enjoy a bag of Lay's (or Herrs, or Cape Cod or whichever brand you are a fan of) today. I can guarantee you it will put a smile on your face, and if you heed Renee's advice on chip ingestion you will escape without a stain on your shirt. Have a rice day, and Go Tigers!