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  • Writer's pictureScott Johnson

Sooter and Sharon

It's been ten years since I said my final goodbye to Mamma. I'm still struggling with her passing. Time is supposed to heal all wounds, but this anniversary leaves a gash in my heart, and an emptiness in my Soul. My mother was unique, not because she was my mother but rather in how she approached life. I've chronicled her inventive ways of dealing with raising three rambunctious boys, her kindness and of her love of animals yet none of it eases my pain. I've tried to move past that horrible day ten years ago when I witnessed her last breath but I am still haunted by her memory. When you have something that precious it is tough to let go. Mamma was the oldest of the three Sandifer children and she was affectionately known as "Sootie", a name given to her by her Aunt, Nanelle Dunlap Frost of Wrightsville, Georgia. "Aunt Sooter" loved Mamma as her own, and Mamma loved her equally. Mamma would tell me of their exploits when she was a child and I would listen attentively to the tales of adventures those two would go on. Aunt Sooter was a groundbreaking pioneer of the times and was definitely a "Women's Lib" type long before it was fashionable. Aunt Sooter and her husband, Arlie Frost, owned and operated a Western Auto hardware store in Wrightsville, Georgia and she was a strong, charismatic woman that exhibited an independent, free spirit in an era when women were placed on pedestals and treated as accessories to a household. She was the organist for Antioch Baptist Church in Wrightsville, and she owned a Baldwin console organ which she would proudly perform "Rock of Ages" or "The Old Rugged Cross" on whenever we went for a visit. After a performance she would go out into the yard and toss baseballs with you or catch frogs from underneath the carport. She and Uncle Arlie lived on East Court Street in the shadow of the water tower, and Aunt Sooter liked to joke that she had scaled it and painted her initials on it, but the town got mad and kept painting over them. Aunt Sooter was "buff" from working at the hardware store and loved showing off her muscles for the three of us boys. She would make a fist, flex her arm up and invite you to come over and "check out this muscle", and we would, of course, go grab a handful of bicep that felt for all the world like a baseball. Aunt Sooter was a mere seventeen years older than Mamma, and was more like an older sister to her, and treated her as such. She would take Mamma out for "driving lessons" when she was thirteen, which was merely an excuse to get out of the house and find some sort of mess to get in. She would drive beyond sight of the prying eyes of a small southern community and let her smoke, let her drive the car and tell Mamma all the pertinent things she would need to know in life. She taught her how to drive, how to smoke like a lady (classy, upstanding women NEVER smoked in public!) and how to "cut a doughnut" in a grassy field. Mamma said that their automotive exploits always ended with a stop at a questionable roadhouse in a neighboring county (Johnson County, Georgia was dry in the 1950s) where Aunt Sooter would barge in and return with two ice-cold Miller beers for them to share on the return trip. Of course, Mamma was sworn to secrecy over this behavior as it just wasn't "becoming" of a woman of her social standing and position of trust in the community! Mamma idolized her and she loved Mamma, and that adventurous spirit was passed down from a most unique individual to an equally unique individual. Another quality she instilled in Mamma was a love for animals. There was always a collection of hounds lolling about at East Court Street and Aunt Sooter was well known for her love of strays. If you knew my mother you would instantly recognize that quality. She loved strays....not only dogs but any stray, whether it be avian, feline or Human. Mamma accepted anyone in need into her life and that is one of the reasons I have found it so extremely hard to let go of her. She had a kind, loving and altruistic spirit that is rarely seen in these modern times of instant gratification, selfies and vanity. She exemplified the qualities we should strive for and lived those qualities with a zest that made everyone around her smile. I wish everyone could have met her. She didn't have enemies, only people that had never engaged her in conversation. I miss her dearly!

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